Johan's Diary
by nyanyaneko
Summary: The day Johan leaves Duel Academy is coming closer and closer. On a side note, Johan finally realizes he has feelings for his best friend. Will he be able to confess his love in time before they are separated? Johan x Judai Jesse x Jaden R&R PLZ!
1. The Diary

Ahahahahahaha! Finally motivated enough to start my own fanfic! It's my first one so be gentle!

Disclaimer- I do not own any part of Yugioh GX

**Chapter 1- The Diary**

Johan sighed in content as he entered the obelisk blue dorm. He just had a great day with Judai (and everyone else); hanging out with Judai, having lunch with Judai, dueling Judai, even getting in trouble with Judai.-

-''And his friends'', he added again mentally. He lay back in his bed pondering what to do next. He didn't feel tired, yet not energetic enough to do something physical.

"Aha!" he yelled suddenly as he jumped off the bed, ran to his closet, and started tossing out items randomly. Clothes, textbooks, extra packs of cards, and other numerous objects were tossed out flying everywhere in the room. He finally fished out a small back, leather covered book, embroidered with gold, and had a button latch on the side to keep it closed. He quickly rifled through the pages and found them all blank.

"Perfect" he said to himself

The bluenette stood up and walked to a small desk and turned on the small lamp on it. He seated himself comfortably while getting out a ball point pen and flipping to the first page, started to write.

Entry#1

August 15, 2007 (don't ask how I know, just using summer time cuz it makes more sense)

Dear Diary,

Hi, I just started writing in this diary today. I know it seems a bit girly, but a lot of great things have been happening to me in duel academy (like Judai…) and I want to be able to remember these events. The day I leave Duel Academy is coming closer and closer and I want to be able to look back and relive all these events even though I'm so far away from _him _….

Johan draws a line through "him" and replaces it with "them".

Well anyway, starting with today's events. Me, Judai, and the rest of the gang met up at lunch in the school yard. Sho had a sandwich, Kenzan had various pieces of cooked meat, and Judai and I had a school-made bento that had rice, eggs, fish, and sushi. Jun and Asuka had a meeting regarding school related subjects so they weren't with us today.

I cannot understand Judai's appetite… While Sho was slowly nibbling at his sandwich, And Kenzan was taking normal size bites from his chicken leg; Judai pretty much just dumped his whole dam bento into his mouth! I mean where the hell does it all go?! Is his entire digestive system one empty void?

Continuing, even though he had his lunch, Judai wasn't satisfied with that… He asked Sho and Kenzan is he could have some of their lunch. Sho ripped off half his sandwich and handed it to him (which he responded by throwing it into his mouth) while Kenzan told him, "take as much as you want Aniki"

Tch- Aniki... I don't know why, but I start getting _really _annoyed when he or Sho call him that. How could they address my Judai-chan soo easily?!

Johan started settling down from his rant when he suddenly saw what he wrote. He blushed madly and started scribbling out the words when he decided to leave it

"It's not like anyone's gonna see this" he said reassuringly to himself. "But still… Why did I write that?" He pondered on that thought for a bit, but just passed it as friendly affection. Instead of crossing out the whole rant, he crossed out the words my and –chan.

Once again, continuing on. After Kenzan said that Judai could have as much as he wanted, he took only as much as he wanted. His whole plate of assorted meats! "Oi! ANIKI!!" screamed Kenzan as he started wrestling Judai to get parts of his lunch back.

I sighed and decided to give Judai my bento; so far I've only eaten a third of the rice and 1 section of the California roll. For some reason, Judai wasn't as enthusiastic and greedy when taking my lunch. He asked me 3 times if I was sure I wanted to give it to him. After a while he finally took it and gladly started stuffing himself. I told him to stop eating so fast, he might choke. Judai slowed down and stopped eating for a moment and smiled at me. "Gomen, Johan" he said.

At that moment Judai still had some crumbs and bits of rice around his mouth. _Kawaii_… For some unknown reason, I can't forget that moment... Anyway, I laughed at him and told him it was ok and that he had crumbs all over his mouth. He started futilely brushing at his mouth. I watched as he grew frustrated and I laughed. I took a napkin and started wiping his mouth. When I was done, Judai suddenly turned away. I asked him why but he seemed a bit hesitant. His face was growing red and when I asked him if he was running a fever, he seemed to grow even more tense. I thought it was best to ignore his strange behavior and he calmed down.

Afterwards me and Judai dueled. (I don't really like reading about dueling, like I think most of u don't also, so I'll make this brief) He summoned Avian and put him in defense. Then I summoned Amethyst Cat and attacked him directly. Our life points went down steadily. Judai-3200 Me-3500, Judai-2300 Me-2000, Judai-1100 Me-900. Eventually we ended up in a tie. We were so caught up in the duel we hadn't noticed that it was getting dark already! I said we should be getting back to our dorms and be going to bed.

At this time Kenzan and Sho went to the Ra dorm, since the lonely leader of the dorm which everyone seemed to ignore, BEGGED every Ra student to spend at least 1 week in the Ra dorms when going to bed. Judai suddenly asked if I wanted to go sleep in the Slifer dorms with him. I thought about it for a while but I started to get embarrassed for some reason…

Now that I think about it… I'm starting to feel odd around Judai... Bah, must be something I ate.

Anyway I rejected him nicely, but he seemed a bit depressed. I felt bad so I said I'll sleep over tomorrow. I guess he just must be really lonely with Kenzan and Sho gone for the week cuz he seemed to have been his by a dart that was filled with caffeine when I told him that! We parted shortly after. That was the end of a great day.

Johan scans the page and admires his work

Even though he removed things that made him feel embarrassed, he still thought that he should hide his diary well.

'Hmmmm… Where should I put it?' he thought. 'Ah' He bent down and lifted part of the loose carpet near his bed. He slid his diary under it and placed a pillow from his bed on the slightly protruding bump, making it lean against his bed, trying to make it look like it's supposed to be there.

"That should work… well off to bed!" Johan then walks over and turns off the lamp on his desk. The bluenette changes into his PJ's and slips into bed, still thinking about the great day he had today. And…

….thinking about Judai…

Well what do u think? I might update tomorrow night around 6-12 (Pacific time)

Anyway plz R&R and help me if you think I need to change anything. Btw… how do u separate author's notes with lines? They don't appear when I type them -.- Note: not all chapter will be diary entries


	2. Mixed Emotions

Ty for the reviews. Sry for the confusion, underlined text will be diary entries since I need italics to emphasize words. This diary entry will be in a story format, Johan's thoughts will be in italics and surrounded by ''

Anyway Chappie 2!!!

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**Chapter 2- Mixed Emotions**

Entry #2

August 17, 2007

Dear Diary,

Finally writing again. I haven't written anything yesterday because like I wrote yesterday, Judai wanted me to sleep over. It was… nice…

Well, here's what happened:

"_Johan" _said Judai teasingly. "You do remember what you promised to do yesterday right?"

"Hai", I replied. "So when do you want me to come over? I didn't get my stuff ready yet."

"Hmmmm…I have something to show you that might leave in a couple minutes… so you need to get to my dorm in time.. so mebbe.. 7:30?"

"EH?! But that only leaves 25 min for me to walk all the way to my dorm, get my stuff and walk all the way back to your dorm! And going back and forth alone would take 20min!"

"Hmmmm… well… you better run then!" Judai said cheerfully with a smile.

"Judai! Come on!"

"You only have 23min now"

"Gah!"

I ran to my dorm as fast as I can and slammed open the door. I quickly grabbed a suitcase and threw any random clothing into it without even looking. Checking the time real fast.. I have… 9 MIN LEFT?!

Flash forwarding a bit…..

'_Finally, the Slifer dorm' _I thought to myself. '_And I have 2 min left_…'

"Judai, I'm here. What'd you need to show me?" Johan said between pants as he supported himself with the doorway seeing the brunette squatted down by the bed.

"Oh, hey Johan! Show you what?"

"You're kidding right? You told me to hurry because you need to show me something that might disappear."

"Ooooooooh, that… I lied." Judai said as he smiled innocently.

(Johan dropped to the ground after hearing Judai's ridiculous reply)

"Then why did you make me run all the way here!"

Judai mumbled something as he faced away from me, head facing towards the ground.. all I could make out was "spend time with"

"What? I couldn't hear you, What'd you say?"

Judai turned around and with a big grin said, "I thought it would be funny!"

I sweat-dropped.

I did think it was weird Judai changed what he said earlier, but I thought it would be better if I didn't confront him.

"Anyway Johan, get ready for the bath!"

"Bath?"

"Oh that's right, you're from Europe aren't you? Well in Japan friends take baths with each other to relax, of course boys and girls have different baths. But you're a guy so it's ok"

"WHAT! As in.. Us two?! Together?! In the bath?! Naked?!" I stammered.

"Yea, what? You nervous or something?"

"Ehehe.. not at all……"

Judai made a mischievous grin that made me VERY uncomfortable.

"So Johan-kun is shy?" Judai purred playfully.

I faced the other way as I felt my face grow hotter when I heard the new nickname Judai gave me as well as the "shy" comment.

"AHA! Johan-kun is shy!"

"No I'm not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Judai! Stop it!"

"As soon as you admit you're shy!"

"Fine I'm shy!"

Judai started jumping around in a victory dance before settling down and telling me what to do next.

"Because Johan-kun is SHY, you can go to the bath and undress first, I'll come in later"

I grumbled at Judai's continuous teasing but obeyed him nonetheless. I went to the bath and put my clothes away in a slot, while I wrapped a towel around my waist. When I reached the bath, I took the towel off and lowered myself in the water.

It felt so good. The hot steamy water surrounded every part of my body, soothing all aching muscles I had. It seemed to even heal any mental stress I had, allowing me for a moment to have an instance of being care-free.

"No wonder Japanese people like taking baths like this" I said thinking out loud.

"Johan! How's the water?" Judai yelled from the changing room.

'_Crap_!' I thought. '_I_ _forgot Judai was coming in next_!'

"It's fine Judai" I replied nervously.

"Great!" the brunette then entered with his towel still on.

I stared in amazement.

He was a God come down from heaven to bless me with his presence. His small slender arms, though with some build, swayed gracefully by his sides. His chest, tanned and broad. He had a nice slender waist with toned abs.

'_Wait! Why am I thinking about him like this?! He's my best-friend, and he's a guy! No… it must be the steam, it's making me delirious.'_

But even though I explained my thoughts, I don't know about my physical reaction. Luckily the steamy, bubbling water hid my arousal; unfortunately, the water couldn't hide the crimson liquid spraying out my nose.

"Johan are you okay?!" Judai asked worriedly as he rushed over to help me. He was just around the bath when, the towel dropped from his waist and revealed a certain something.

The crimson liquid increased in pressure and fell backwards. Passed out from blood loss.

When I came to, I was wearing my towel again and I could make out Judai shaking me.

"Johan! Johan!"

"Ugh" I grunted as I rubbed my eyes. "Judai?"

"Thank god!" Judai said as he wrapped his arms around me

"J-Judai?!" I choked out as I felt my face grow hotter.

"Ah!" He released me from his grip. "Gomen.. Johan."

I could see a blush starting across his face

"It's okay Judai.."

It was quiet between us for awhile until I decided to break the eerie silence.

"Uh.. let's get going to bed. Ne? Judai?"

"okay.."

We walked back into the dorm. And Judai started getting his PJ's from the closet.

"Johan, you go change first since you're the shy one!"

"Judai! Can't we forget about that please….."

Judai then says with a smile "Nope."

"Fine. Let me get my PJ's first"

As I opened my suitcase, I started digging around. There were no PJ's in there?! Oh… That's right.. I was rushing and I didn't see what I threw in here. Wait… I think here are some PJ's.

I started pulling it out of the suitcase, but it wouldn't budge. I pulled one more time as hard as I could and it popped out.

'_WTF?! PINK BUNNY PJ'S?! Gah! I have to hide these before Judai sees! Why the hell do I have bunny PJ's anyways?!"_

"Ooooh…." I heard a teasing voice next to my ear, "I didn't know Johan-kun wore _bunny _PJ's"

"Ah!" I jumped back in surprise as Judai was watching what I was doing over my shoulder.

"hehehehehehehe" Judai snickered evilly.

"Judai, shutup and lend me some of your PJ's. This was your fault since you made me rush here in the first place!"

"Hai, Hai Johan. _Buuuuuuuuut_,only after you put on your bunny PJ's and show me."

"EH?! NO WAY!"

"Awwwwwww. Plzzzzzzzzzz Johan." Judai pleaded with puppy-dog eyes.

'_No, don't give in Johan! Don't do it! You'll regret it for the rest of your life! Don't give in to him!'_

"Fine I'll do it…"

'_BAKA JOHAN!!!!'_

"YAY! I'll go get the camera!!!"

25min of fighting later…

"Eeeeehehehehe" Johan looks soooooo adorable.

"Judai! Throw away those pictures already!"

"NO! No one knows the next time you'll actually wear it again. Plus who knows if I ever need to blackmail you one day."

'_Here's Judai, The person I deemed God about an hour ago. What satanic acts this God has just committed.'_

"Anyway Johan, what bunk do you want?"

"Whatever you want Judai."

"Yay! I get the top bunk then! I never got it before since Sho and Kenzan took them."

"Ok I'll get the bottom then"

We settled down and turned off the lights. When we got into bed, a sudden storm hit. The thunder raged and lightning flashed. The rain pounded hard on the roof and sounded like we were under fire. The wind blew hard, causing all sorts of objects to pound on the sides of the building.

'_Damn storm… I can't get to sleep with all the banging!'_

"Ah!" I heard Judai scream.

I rushed off of the bed and climbed to the top bunk.

"Judai, are you alright?"

"Yea Johan" Judai said as he desperately tried to smile.

Suddenly lightning flashed and thunder roared

"Eeep!" Judai whimpered then threw his blanket over his head and started trembling.

"I don't like storms Johan. They're scary…"

I smiled at Judai. His innocence seemed so pure, so genuine. His personality is that of a child's. He cowers in the corner of the top bunk, like a helpless child, just because of a storm. _Kawaii_…

"It'll be okay Judai.." I cooed softly, "I'll watch over you and protect you; I won't let the storm hurt you."

"Promise?"

"I promise Judai."

He calmed down a bit and laid back down. He would still jump a bit every time the thunder banged, but I would rub his back and that would seem to comfort him. I started singing a short lullaby to help him. Finally, he fell into a nice, deep sleep. I looked over the angelic figure below and smiled gently as I started climbing down from top bunk and went back to bed.

The banging didn't seem to bother me anymore. The sight of Judai sleeping so serenely seemed to calm my agitated mind. As I slid into the bottom bunk and a warm comfort washed over me, I fell asleep.

-----

Sometime in the middle of the night, I woke to a rhythmic beating and a sense of warmth on my chest. I focused my vision on a brown fuzz. My eyes widened as I realized what it was.

'_J-J—Judai?! What is he doing in bed with me?!'_

Judai slept at peace, cuddled up against my chest. I thought about waking him up until he started talking in his sleep.

"_Johan_ , please wear the bunny suit again."

I stopped, trying to wake him up. I smiled kindly instead and pulled the blanket over us, and fell asleep, while watching his undisturbed face.

That night was one filled with emotions. I couldn't understand them. My emotions were all mixed up! Why did I think such a thought when we were about to take a bath together? Why did I have an urge to comfort him at the site of his innocence? Why did I feel so calm and at peace when I saw his sleeping face? Why am I thinking about my best friend like this?! Why!

The answered seemed to come simply to me once I started to accept it…

I think I'm in _love_ with him….

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Bah, finally got it done. It got longer than I thought. Sry about the late update since I said I was gonna get it posted yesterday. I got invited to my friend's house and when I got home, I ran out of coffee..

Anyway R&R plz! And if you feel I should change anything wrong plz tell me.

Next update should be mebbe next Mon-Wed, earlier if I don't have a bad day.


	3. Gomen, Johan

Yay thx to Chiyoko-chan, heavenstar72, Johan's Angel, and Anime-Queen-2011 for the positive reviews (everyone else needs to stop being cheap, reading without reviewing, I do this for the reviews!) Anyway enjoy the next chapter

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**Chapter 3- Gomen, Johan**

Entry #3

August 21, 2007

Dear diary,

Sorry I haven't written as much as I planned, I needed some time to think a while. It's helped me gather my thoughts though. I do love Judai. I don't know why it took me this long to figure it out. Hopefully it's not too late, since today is my last day at Duel Academy…

Every time I look into his chocolate-brown eyes, I fall into a daydream, fantasizing about him. Every time I brush up against him or if he touches me, I blush. Every time someone shows one small sign of affection towards him, jealousy rages within me. My love for him rages within the depths of my soul. 

But now even though I've accepted my feelings, how am I supposed to know about his? I've been too distracted to watch for any signs of affection from Judai. And without that, I won't have the confidence to confess my love for him. We're best friends right now, but I want to be something more. But at the same time I'm afraid to lose it without gaining anything new. If he rejects me I don't know how I'll be able to live on… Maybe I won't… Bah! No time for depressing thoughts, I'll think about it more before I write again.

-----

I get up out of my chair and glance at the clock. It's 7:00 in the morning. I already packed my bags beforehand.

'Alright, I guess I better head to breakfast.'

But before I headed towards the door, I took my diary and placed it under my usual hiding spot. Satisfied that no one will find it, I left the room and pushed the door close behind me without looking and headed towards the cafeteria.

-----

_Little did Johan know, before the door shut, a person jammed their foot into the doorway. The silver haired figure went straight for the diary. It moved the pillow aside and lifted the loose carpeting. Holding the diary in his own hands, He smirked as he read through it and grew somewhat angrier. Carefully putting everything back where it was, the figure nonchalantly strolled out the room._

_------_

When I entered the cafeteria I was greeted by the usual people.

"Hey Johan." Sho and Kenzan said in unison as they were mesmerized by a handheld fighting game.

"Hey Sho, Kenzan.

"Long time no see, how're you doing Johan?

"I'm alright Asuka. How was the school meeting?"

"Well it was" –she began

"Ugh! It was SOOOOOOOOOOOO boring. All they talked about was organizing fundraising events to make money for the school! We talked about that subject for like 3 days straight! Eventually I just gave them a freakin $10,000 check and left."

"Manjyoume, Johan was talking to me!"

Manjyoume was back from the meeting too, he seemed a little more irritated of nothing more than usual.

"Well no point now, I just explained the whole situation."

While Asuka and Jun started fighting, I noticed someone else at our table. At first I didn't recognize the white suit and light colored hair, but then I remembered.

"Yo, Edo. How you've been?"

"I've been fine Anderson." He replied a bit coldly.

'_What's his problem? I haven't even seen him for 3 weeks!'_

After the usual hellos I realized someone wasn't there.

"Hey guys, where's Judai?"

"He's still in the Slifer dorm asleep in bed" Kenzan and Sho replied automatically while rapidly pressing buttons.

"And you guys didn't wake him?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Busy, playing, Gameboy." Buttons are now more rapidly being pressed.

"Sigh…"

"YES I WON! IN YOUR FACE KENZAN! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" everyone stared at Sho doing a victory dance on the table.

"Come out of your shell now Sho?" said Asuka.

Sho blushed and hid under the table "ehehehehehe….."

"Cheater…" said Kenzan.

"I did not cheat! You know I won!"

"Well I'm gonna go get Judai now" I exclaimed, glad I might be able to have some alone time with him.

I started to turn and walk when suddenly Edo spoke up.

"Hey Anderson, let me come with you."

"Why?"

"Anything's better than being with these freaks"

"Who are you calling a freak?!" Kenzan, Sho, and Jun all yelled in unison.

"No one, just you three."

All of a sudden, the insulted ones all jumped and dog piled on Edo. Edo in turn, struggled to get free and started punching them all in the gut. It was a pretty even match, considering it was 3 on 1.

I quickly ducked out of the cafeteria and made my way to the Slifer dorms.

-----

When I got there I opened the door and saw Judai. He was sprawled all over the bed, blanket only covering his waist and most of it on the floor. His arms were spread out to his sides.

His shirt seemed to be lifted all the way up to his neck which.. _revealed_ his tanned and well toned chest and abs.

Trying my best to hold back a nose bleed, I went over to him and started to shake him awake.

"_Johan_! Come on! I already begged you a million times. Put on the bunny suit again plzzzz……" Judai mumbled in his sleep.

'_WTF?! He's still dreaming about that?! Oh my god! I knew I was gonna regret it for the rest of my life! But did I listen to myself?! Nooooooooooooooo.'_

After my little rant in my head, I started shaking Judai awake again.

"Judai!"

He made no sound.

"Judai!"

He mumbled but quickly fell back motionless.

"JUDAI! WAKE UP!!!!!!" I screamed as Judai flew off his bed and landed on the floor head first.

"Ow…" Judai said while rubbing the back of his head.

"Oi, Johan, what was that for?"

"For not getting up the first dozen times I told you to wake up."

"7:30?! Why'd you wake me up so early!"

"Early? 7:30 is the time normal people get up and get ready for the day. Besides, today is my last day at Duel Academy remember? I leave on the ship tomorrow."

"Oh yea- that's right…"

Judai suddenly turned away for a moment while his head was looking down.

"Anyway" I continued "I thought we should spend the day together since we're best friends and because we're not gonna see each other for a while."

"Gomen Johan."

"For what? Are you busy or something?"

"No it's not that, I'm sorry that I forgot today was your last day."

I let out a small laugh as I continued with a smile, "It's ok, it's not that important"

"Don't say that! It is important!" Judai yelled as he quickly turned back around, facing me.

I was speechless. I stood there as I saw emotion on Judai's face. His face which I always imagined so pure, so care-free, was now twisted with a sad and somewhat frustrated look.

"Johan, you're my best friend. If anyone said anything bad behind your back I would defend you with all my power. I would risk my life to save you. But I couldn't even remember a day, one single day. Your last day, the day where we'll be separated for a long time… Gomen Johan… Gomen…"-he choked out those last words as tears streamed down his face. Judai turned away again in an attempt to hide his sadness.

I went up to him from behind and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"J--Johan?"

"It's okay Judai-chan, I'll always forgive you"

We stayed like that for about 5 min. when I got up.

"Alright Judai, go get dressed and stuff, everyone is waiting on us."

"Okay Johan." Judai started towards the bathroom, but stopped right before he entered.

"Johan?"

"Yeah?"

"Arigatou."

"Don't mention it."

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This chapter was a little short for my tastes. Planned on making it longer but decided to break down the chapters. I also kind of thought this one sucked… anyway R&R plz

Next update on Wed, Thurs, or Fri


	4. Disturbed Conscience

Bah real bored today… Well, just like many other people, my winter break is coming up too. Which means numerous updates may be coming up. I write when I'm bored as I'm sure many of you do. And review plz. I'm getting less reviews every chapter and I'm feeling sad : ( Reviews motivate me like everyone else. Anyway enjoy the chappie. Story gonna be 3rd person now until close to the end.

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**Chapter 4- Disturbed Conscience**

"Ah, hey Johan, thanks for waiting for me to get ready." Judai said as he walked out the bathroom in his clean school uniform.

"No problem." The bluenette replied.

"Hmmmm.. hey Judai?"

"Yea?"

"Just curious, but while you were asleep, you said some things. What were you dreaming about?"

'_I need to know if Judai is actually still dreaming about the bunny suit…'_

Judai turned around, trying to hide a somewhat shocked expression.

(Judai's thoughts) _'What?! I talked in my sleep?! What did I say?! If he knew what I was dreaming about, it'll be all over!"_

----------(His Dream)

"_Johan_! Come on! I already begged you a million times. Put on the bunny suit again plzzzz."

"Alright Judai-chan, I can't refuse anything when I look into your beautiful brown eyes."

"Oh, Johan. You're… you're teasing me…" Judai stammered as he looks away.

Johan grasps Judai's hands between his and Judai gazes into Johan's emerald eyes. His eyes are deep. A green sea. In its depths lie secrets and mysteries, locked within his crystal gaze. It feels as if it has the power, to look right through your very being and gaze at the depths of your soul.

"Judai, I would never tease you about how beautiful you look, I think about you everyday. I can't stop thinking about you, even if I wanted to."

"Oh.. Johan…"

"I love you Judai-chan, I always have."

"Johan, I love you too, kiss me…"

"Gladly."

Johan pushed Judai back onto his bed as he pounces on him.

"Their faces come closer and closer, their eyes close, they can feel each other's breath on their face. Judai braces himself for the enjoyment he's about to receive…..

"JUDAI! WAKE UP!"

(aaaah! His fantasy ends there xD)

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Judai blushes as he remembers part of his dream.

"Well Judai?"

Judai jumps a bit when he realizes Johan is still there waiting for an answer.

"Uh… well." Judai blushes and grins sheepishly as he rubs the back of his head.

"Ummmm… that depends, how much did you hear?"

Johan sweat drops. "I heard enough about the bunny suit."

"Is that all?"

"Yea."

'_Whew, I guess I didn't say anything else out loud.'_

"Unless you want to add something Judai?

"Ehehe nothing at all."

"Well, you go ahead and meet up with the others, I hafta go back to my dorm and do something."

Judai cocks his head to the side in confusion. "What do you need to do?"

"Oh, nothing much, just gonna burn the bunny suit…"

"WHAT?! WHYYYYY?!"

"Because as long as that thing exists, YOU will humiliate me to death."

"But you look sooooooo cute!"

Johan blushes a bit before regaining his composure. "Uh well, that's exactly what I'm talking about!"

"Hee, hee, what? Johan doesn't like me calling him cute?"

Johan felt his face grow really hot as he attempted to defend himself. "Judai, why can't you ever drop the subject!" Johan yelled annoyed as he turned away frustrated.

Judai then jumped forward and wrapped his arms around Johan's neck and purred playfully in Johan's ear.

"Because Johan-kun is too cute for words when he's in the bunny suit…"

Johan started blushing madly until they were interrupted by a voice.

"Tch-nice to see you guys are having fun" said a cold voice.

"Oh, hey Edo" Judai replied.

Edo was leaning against the doorway staring coldly at Johan, but when Judai spoke to him, he gave him a nice warm smile.

"Well let's get going guys" Johan said as he stood up.

"Alright let's go then."

They all headed towards the doorway and walked outside.

The whole time Edo didn't take his eyes off Judai, except a few times when he shot Johan dirty looks.

Suddenly Edo spoke up. "Hey Judai."

"Yea?"

"Come over here for a sec I, want to tell you something" Edo glances at Johan before continuing, "Alone, in private."

" Sure Edo."

Johan's POV

I watched as Edo and Judai walked a few yards away, near some trees. They looked like they were having friendly conversation. Edo was talking a bit and Judai was laughing.

But then, Edo's face turned serious and Judai stopped laughing. Judai's expression turned from care-free to mild shock. Judai stood frozen. While Edo continued talking, Judai's mild shock state, turned worse, he looked like he was about to panic.

When they started walking back, I ran up to Judai.

"What did you guys talk about?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing at all Johan" Judai said while making a poor attempt at hiding his emotions.

'_Judai is hiding something from me. What did Edo say?!'_

Judai then started saying nervously, "Well let's go guys!" and he started off towards the cafeteria.

Before I started walking, I glared at Edo behind me.

He smirked and started walking nonchalantly. When he was right by me he quickly whispered in my ear.

"Don't bother trying Anderson, Judai's mine."

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Ahaha… getting close to the big emotional/sappy part! R&R PPL!!! I'll give you cookies!


	5. Why Can't I Forget!

Yay! More reviews this time! I knew you ppl were hiding somewhere. Sry for the long wait, tried to make this chappie longer and better written for u guys. Anyway ty everyone for the reviews! Especially loveisamysterybutwhy! And I think everyone knows why I am forced to say that… (if you don't, read the comments…) anyhow, enjoy the chappie! Been waiting to do this one for awhile. This one is extra long to celebrate winter break and Christmas! And when I say long, this thing is like 4 chapters in one. (Johan's POV)

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**Chapter 5- Why Can't I forget?!**

The same message played in Johan's head 15 times, as if he couldn't understand himself thinking. Or if he didn't want to understand it at all.

'_Don't bother trying Anderson, Judai's mine'_

'_What?! How the hell does he know I like Judai?! And he's mine? No.. it can't be. I haven't seen him lately so I don't think they're going out. Is he trying to take Judai away from me? Damn it! Why the hell did it have to become so complicated?!'_

I stared in shock at Edo as he smirked again and continued walking past me. He walked faster until he was next to Judai.

'_Oh hell no. He's still trying to get closer to Judai!'_

I walked faster to until I was on Judai's right side. We glared at each other as Judai started to speed up nervously, noticing what was silently happening. The tension was built thick in the air until Judai walked around me onto my left side, seemingly hiding from Edo. I smirked in triumph after the silent victory as Edo shot dirty looks.

We walked the rest of the way in silence until we got to the cafeteria. When we entered, we were greeted by the gang again.

"ANIKI!" both Sho and Kenzan said in unison once again.

"Jeez, Judai, what took you so long?" complained Manjyoume.

"Ehehe." Judai replied while rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"Knowing Judai, you probably slept in, and because it was this long, you were probably dreaming about something good." said Asuka.

Judai turned away from this comment. I knew what he was dreaming about. (yeah right)

"Good for him, hell for me.." I grumbled silently. _'damn bunny suit…'_

Asuka asked with a confused look on her face "Hmm? What's that Johan?"

"Nothing at all!" I exclaimed as I smiled.

Judai suddenly stood up.

"Hey everyone come here and huddle up, uh… except you Johan, and Edo… you guys go away for now."

"Hmph" Edo said as he walked out of the building.

"Why can't I join?" I asked, somewhat surprised that my best friend would actually keep me out of something.

"Because it's a secret" he said before he winked at me.

I blushed and turned around and rushed away in order to hide my face. I walked out the building still curious why Judai ushered me out.

'_What could he be planning? Oh crap, I hope he's not planning on them to force the bunny suit on me! Where the hell did the bunny suit come from anyway?!'_

I gave up being frustrated and depressed and started walking around campus. I walked for about an hour before walking towards the Slifer dorm. When I got close, I saw the whole gang inside. They were laughing and having fun. I decided, why not join them? But once I got about 3 yards away, Kenzan rushed out, grabbed me, and started running.

"K-Kenzan! What are you doing!"

"It's a secret-don! You're not allowed in there until Aniki says so!"

"What's Judai doing in there?!"

"I just told you already! Hi-mi-tsu!"

"Well at least put me down already!"

" No can do-don. Aniki told me to take you far away so even if you run, you can't pop in to see what they're doing until they're finished."

Kenzan ran for about 10min before setting me down. But before I could even start speaking again, he ran back twice as fast!

"Gah!, well I guess if I walk there, they should be done by then…"

I started thinking negative thoughts. I felt lonely without Judai with me.

'_Did I do something wrong? Why is he keeping me away to such an extent?' _

I stared at the night sky above in depression. Still wondering if I did anything wrong. Pondering why Judai would do this. Does he hate me? Or is he still sad for forgetting today is my last day.

I walked down the road gazing upon the ground in a depressed state. I looked up and saw the dorm was right in front of me. But this time it seemed empty. Nothing inside was moving. There weren't any lights on either. I walked towards the door and turned the knob.

"Hello? Anyone in there?"

Suddenly lights flashed on all around me.

"SURPRISE!!!" everyone yelled and popped out as confetti rained down on me.(half of you probably figured this out already)

"W—What?!" I stammered in shock "For me?!" I said pointing meekly at myself.

"No, we did for Chronos" Said a sarcastic voice behind me.

"Judai!"

"Like the surprise party Johan?"

"Wow you did all this?"

"Yup!"

"Why didn't you tell me!"

"Duh, surprise party."

I stared at Judai suspiciously. When did he actually become smart enough to plan a party and keep me from knowing?

"Anyway time for games!" Judai exclaimed.

"What's first?" I asked curiously.

Suddenly everyone faced me at the same time and a dark look plastered itself on all of their faces while they grinned mischievously. The whole area around them seemed to dim just to fit the moment.

"Truth" said Sho

"Or dare" replied Kenzan.

Predicting the possible outcomes, my face became blank. I froze while slowly turning my body around, then started walking out the door.

"Ahahahaha Johan, you're not getting away that easily!" yelled Judai.

Everyone grabbed me at the same time. Judai pulling me back by my body, Sho and Kezan taking the legs, while Asuka and Jun started tugging me back by the arms.

"Ahhhh! Let me go!!!" I struggled to say.

"NEVER!!!!" They all screamed while still tugging at me.

"I wouldn't expect to find truth or dare fanatics in a DUELING academy!"

"We don't care!"

Suddenly, they all pulled together and I went flying into the dorm and straight into the wall.

"Oi Johan! You okay?!" Judai asked worriedly. I looked up into his chocolate brown eyes, filled with concern.

'_I felt warm inside. Judai would actually care about me like that. But unfortunately, this wasn't the time to fall for Judai's cuteness again'_

"Yeah I'll be fine Judai…" I said as I rubbed the back of my head, and then smirked "As soon as I'm out of here!!!!" I made a break for the door when suddenly Judai screamed some weird code.

"Kenzan! DOR X-maneuver 25!"

'_What?! A secret code?! What the hell are they gonna do to me?!'_

Kenzan then rushed in front of me, eyes glowing yellow and merciless. He was crouched down, hands in the position of claws ready to strike. He was like a beast! I was scared at first, but was determined to break past him. Kenzan charged at me, I got into a ready stance. He leapt, high in the air and was coming down on me. I raised my arms, bent, towards the sky to block him. But he landed to the side and pushed me onto the ground. He raised his hands to strike again. I closed my eyes and braced for impact.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" I laughed uncontrollably. "KE-KEN---KENZAN!!! STOP TICKLING ME!!!"

Kenzan hands were at the sides of my ribs tickling me uncontrollably.

"Only if you stay to play truth or dare-don" said Kenzan while grinning mischievously.

"OKAY OKAY!!! I'LL PLAY!!!" I screamed as hard as I could while laughing as tears flew from my eyes.

Kenzan backed away with a huge grin on his face.

"Jeez Judai, you didn't have to tell him to do that! Argh, my ribs are sore."

Judai snickered, "Hehe, gomen, but that's what you get for tricking me _Johan-kun_"

Everyone stared at Judai then me with puzzled looks.

'_What?! He's actually calling me that in front of everyone!'_

"Johan…-kun?" Everyone stated questioningly in unison.

I felt my face grow hotter as I started waving my hands towards them innocently, "It's nothing, nothing at all!" I said frantically.

Jun smirked, "Oh really? Well we'll get it out of you soon enough in Truth or dare."

"Crap" I thought out loud.

Well let's start. Everyone started sitting in a circle. I went over and sat next to Judai.

"I'll go first" said Jun.

He spun the bottle in the middle as it slowed down and pointed to Asuka.

"Hehe.. Asuka, Truth or dare?"

She put her finger to her chin in though, "Hmmm… I pick… truth"

"Do you like me? May I remind you this is truth or dare so NO lying!"

"Do I like you?... well.."

"Yes?" Jun started asking in anticipation.

"There are some qualities…"

"Yes?!" Jun was standing now"

"I dunno.. Maybe…"

"YES?!"

"_HELL _NO!"

Jun froze, then collapsed backwards.

Sho cried out while running to his body, "Manjyoume! Manjyoume! Can you hear me?!" His body was limp and lifeless.

"Oi! Jun-don!" Kenzan also started yelling frantically.

"Jeez Asuka, you didn't have to be that harsh with him." Judai mumbled.

"He got what was coming to him, he's a perv."

I sweat-dropped. Then I realized everyone settling back down and seemed it was Sho's turn.

"Oh well, my turn then." Sho exclaimed as he excitedly spun the bottle.

It spun and spun when suddenly it started slowing down and stopped at Kenzan.

"Aha! Kenzan Truth or Dare?"

Kenzan exclaimed without hesitation, "DARE ME!!!"

Just then at that moment, Sho's face darkened to black. His eyes changed shape, no longer the big circles everyone is used to. They glowed a crimson, blood red. His voice deepened, possibly sounding like death himself.

"Kenzan…. I dare you…. to…"

Kenzan gulped and backed away slowly, "Dare-me to do what?" he stammered.

"I DARE… YOU TO…"

"wear a dress!" exclaimed Sho happily.

(Everyone fell backwards hearing Sho's crazy request)

Kenzan picked himself up and regained his composure. "No way-don! I pick truth!"

"Noooooooo, too bad! You picked Dare already! Come follow me I know what dress for you to wear!"

Sho started jumping up the stairs happily as Kenzan dragged himself behind.

Suddenly, Asuka spoke up, "Hey Judai"

"Yeah, what's up Asuka?"

"Why'd you call Johan, Johan-kun"

I started blushing madly, hoping Judai wouldn't do anything to embarrass me. I didn't want him to say anything that might give her the wrong idea, but at the same time, I wish he did.

Judai opened his mouth to reply. I stared at him in anticipation.

"Hi-mi-tsu" he said.

I felt relieved but disappointed at the same time. We should be something more. I'm not satisfied with being just friends.

Asuka looked at him questioningly but seemed to understand.

"Okay then…"

We started hearing footsteps from the staircase and we turned to look towards it. Sho bounded down happily as he began the intro.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! I present to you! Miss Kenzan!"

We waited for 15 seconds, we saw nothing and only heard crickets chirping.

"Pssssssst! Kenzan! Come down already!" Sho whispered harshly.

"No way-don!" We heard another voice whisper in reply.

Sho then leapt up the steps and started pulling him down the stairs. We were not prepared for what we saw next.

Kenzan was wearing a little dress. It has different shades of pink and was very frilly. On the front was a hello kitty logo holding a small flower. The whole thing seemed too tight for him. His muscular legs protruded from underneath the dress unevenly and looked like it was going to rip any moment.

Next thing I knew Judai burst into laughter.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Kenzan! DRESS!!! AHAHAHA!!!" Judai was struggling with his sentences as he held his gut, rolling on the floor, feet flying in the air. "AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Kenzan! You look retarded!"

"Shu-Shutup-don!" Kenzan said as he started blushing.

Asuka started giggling while I just looked away.

"Whatever! It's my turn now-saurus!"

Judai finally regained his composure, wiping the tears out of his eyes.

Kenzan then took the bottle in his hand and spun it with full force. It was spun so hard wind started blowing from it and papers were flying everywhere. It finally started to slow down but it was still spinning. 5min later It looked like it was about to stop. We stared at it until it pointed at Judai.

"Aha! Aniki, Truth or dare!" yelled Kenzan.

Judai was thinking for a moment but then spoke up. "I think dares are more fun then truths, so dare!"

Kenzan smirked then said, "Ok Aniki, since you laughed at me for wearing a dress, let's see how you like it! Sho help me out."

"EEH?!" Judai started complaining. But before he could continue, Kenzan and Sho linked to each of Judai's arms and started dragging him up the stairs.

I laughed at the sight until I saw Asuka transfixed on me. Studying me. I felt uncomfortable, but tried to ignore it. I averted my gaze for a moment, hoping she would stop staring at me. Sweat started rolling down my face. I glanced back quickly only to see that she was still staring at me. I couldn't take it anymore so I asked.

"Hey, Asuka, you okay?"

She looked me over a bit again before speaking. "Is there something going on between you and Judai?"

"What?! No!!! There's nothing going on between me and Judai."

"I don't buy it. Why would Judai call you Johan-kun?"

"I don't know! Ask him yourself"

"Question is, Johan, do _you_ like Judai?

I started to shake my head uncontrollably as I started saying, "No! That would be weird! We're two guys!"

I paused again and lowered my face to the ground before mumbling softly, "He wouldn't notice anyway…"

Asuka's gaze softened a bit but before she could open her mouth we heard a struggle on the stair case.

Once again we saw Sho, bouncing down the stairs and exclaimed, "Ladies and Gentleman! Once again we have a new model! Miss Yuki Judai!"

Suddenly Judai leapt out behind the wall and landed on his knees on the staircase.

I couldn't take my eyes off him. He was wearing a baby blue tank top with 2 vertical pink stripes. Around his neck was a pink ribbon and bell. He was wearing also a pink and baby blue mini skirt with a brown tail extending from it and on his head was a cat ear headband.

I tried to maintain my composure but my perverted thoughts got the better of me, when something started poking out of my pants. I blushed as I continued to stare at him.

Kenzan and Sho were laughing mercilessly. Asuka was having a giggling fit.

Judai started pouting, "Kenzan! You didn't have to push me!"

Suddenly Judai changed his gaze on me. He saw that I was staring at him and he blushed and turned away slightly. "Johan, can you stop staring at me plz? Your embarrassing me.." he whispered meekly.

That did it. I lost my composure as blood rapidly spurted out of my nose and I fell backwards. I held my hand to my nose and backed away desperately trying to get out of the room.

"Johan what's wrong?" asked Asuka.

Sho and Kenzan stopped laughing at turned to look at me.

"It's nothing at all! Uh! I need to use the restroom."

I ran as fast as I could into the restroom. I slammed the door shut and locked it.

'_God that was close! Omg, Judai was soooo hot in that cat uniform. Crap, I need to wipe the blood off'_

I started washing my face then wiped it dry with a towel. When I opened the door and got back everyone was waiting for me. Judai and Kenzan were back in their normal clothes, which I thanked god mentally.

"So Johan? What happened? You were in there for awhile" questioned Asuka.

"Uh, I drank bad milk in the morning" I lied plainly.

Although Asuka didn't seem satisfied with that answer, Sho and Kenzan did. So she let it slide.

"Anway!" Judai began, "My turn!"

He spun the bottle, and through some sort of twisted fate, landed on me.

"Aha! Johan! Truth or Dare!" Judai said enthusiastically, a large grin plastered on his face.

'_Hmm.. If I pick dare he'll probably make me wear the bunny suit in front of everyone. I can't risk that humiliation! If I pick truth, I don't see a downside to that. I don't think I have anything to hide.'_

"Truth" I said as my final answer.

Judai thought for a moment, then suddenly seemed meek. I saw his cheeks turn red, as he turned towards me and began talking.

"Johan, do you.. Do you—

--like.."

'_Wait! Is Judai going to ask if I like him?! In front of everyone! He can't do that! I mean, I wish he did but, I don't want the others around.'_

I snapped out of my thoughts as I focused myself on Judai. _'Judai… do you like me?'_

"Do you like Chocolate Johan?" he finally finished.

I felt depressed and disappointed. _'Well I can't expect everything to turn out the way I want..' _ I put on a fake smile as I replied. "Hai Judai, I like chocolate."

Everyone stared at Judai in confusion.

"Oi, Aniki, Why'd you make such a boring question?"

"Guess not imaginative I guess" Judai said sheepishly.

"LIES!" cried out Sho. "You're the most imaginative person I know! There's no way you couldn't have asked a question as dull as that!"

"Gomen, Sho, just can't think well I guess. Well let's get to the food!"

"Wait! Johan hasn't gone yet." interrupted Asuka.

I sighed as I replied, "It's okay, if Judai wants to eat we can end the game here."

Just then something grabbed my shoulder!

"AAAAAAAH!!!! I screamed" and jumped away. "Oh, it's just you Manjyoume."

He grunted as he attempted to speak, "Ugh, what happened?"

"You got rejected again by Asuka when we were playing truth or dare" snickered Kenzan and Sho as they were getting things to eat.

"Stop laughing you freaks!"

"Hey who you calling freaks?!" Kenzan and Sho screamed in unison.

"You 2!"

As usual they started to fight. Jun started punching and kicking. Sho and Kenzan started cheating as they flung food at him. Unfortunately for Sho and Kenzan, some spaghetti landed on Asuka's head.

"Uh oh they both" said as a very angry Asuka rose up behind them. (ahahaha some OOC)

"YOU GUYS NEED TO BE MORE MATURE AND SETTLE YOUR FIGHTS WITH WORDS INSTEAD OF VIOLENCE AND FOOD! NOW I'LL TEACH YOU A LESSON!"

"Eek!!!" screamed the doomed 3 as they ran around the dorm fleeing from Asuka who was wielding a knife.

I laughed at the spectacle before me when I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around and saw Judai staring at me.

"Hey, follow me Johan" he whispered. I didn't question his actions and followed him.

We quietly snuck out of the room and closed the door. We walked around the dorm near the cliff and lay down. I stared at the starry night sky. The stars were bright and the moon was full.

"Hey Judai, isn't the sky beautiful?"

"Yeah" he replied without much enthusiasm.

"Hey Judai, what's wrong, you don't seem as energetic as before."

"Johan, did you think playing Truth or Dare was fun?"

"Yeah it was fun, what about it?"

"Johan, Truth or Dare?"

"What?" I cocked my head to the side in confusion.

"Pick Truth or Dare!" Judai started to sound annoyed.

"But we already played inside earlier"

"Johan, Just pick."

"Uh, dare I guess."

"Ok Johan."

Judai took a deep breath before continuing. " I dare you to stay at Duel Academy with me…."

My eyes softened as I heard Judai say this.

"Judai.." I whispered softly. "I can't do that."

"You have to Johan! I dared you to!"

"Judai" I whispered even more gently, "You _know_ I can't do that…"

"Why not! I dared you to! You have to stay!" at this point, tears started to swell and rolled down his cheeks. I couldn't stand to see him like this. I felt like something was clawing at my heart.

"Judai.. this isn't a game, Europe is far away, I can't stay here. I have other friends and family too."

"But you're my best friend! I can't stand the thought of you leaving me!"

"I'm sorry Judai, I can't stay"

"Then I'll come with you!"

"What?!" I was not expecting this answer. "No Judai, I can't have you leave your friends and family just for my sake."

"I'm serious! You're my best friend! I'll go to Europe with you! North Academy should accept me!"

I grabbed hold of his shoulders and stared into his brown eyes with a stern look on my face. I started saying harshly, "Judai. Be serious!"

Judai averted his gaze towards the side.

"Look at me Judai!"

Judai hesitantly moved his eyes back to mine.

"Judai. Be serious! We are going to be separated no matter what we do. We have to think logically! There's no way I can stay here, it's too far away from my home, and the same goes for you!"

Judai's tears seemed to grow and I also started crying.

I softened my gaze and smiled warmly as I started cooing gently, "We won't be out of contact though. We can call or write to each other. Distances mean nothing when it comes to friendship."

'_Just friends…'_

I wrapped my arms around Judai and hid my face in his neck. "I'll miss you Judai"

'_Only friends…'_

Judai hugged me back and replied, "I'll miss you too Johan, my best friend."

'_Best friends, why only friends. We should be something more! This is my last chance.'_

"Judai.. actually I have something to tell you."

He pulled away from me and looked into my eyes. "What Johan?"

"Well Judai.. I actually.." I took a deep breath "Yuki Judai, I lov—

"—Oi! ANIKI!!!" Kenzan yelled from the back door of the Slifer dorm. "The food is disappearing! You and Johan better get something to eat while it's still there!"

"Hai, Kenzan!" Judai replied while turning back to me. "So Johan, what were you going to say?"

I looked back at Judai then stared at the ground and started to get up. "Never mind, it's nothing important."

Judai got up too and stared at me questioningly. "Well come on Johan! Let's go before all the shrimp is gone!"

I smiled weakly as I followed Judai who was skipping towards the dorms.

Judai started eating and fighting with Sho, Kenzan, and Sho. Same old same old. Nothing new. Then why do I feel so horrible?

I stared at my plate deep in thought. _'I guess I was never meant to be with him. I'll miss you, my Judai-chan.'_

"Hey Johan what's wrong?" asked Asuka with a worried tone.

I put on a fake smile again, "Nothing at all Asuka, I was just day dreaming."

"You're lying"

"I am not!"

Asuka then scooted closer to me and whispered in my ear, "If you love Judai, you should tell him now"

"What?!" I whispered harshly. "I don't love Judai!"

"Stop trying to hide it from me. I'm not like you boys, I pick up small things every now and then. The way you drooled over Judai today proved what I have discovered about 5 days ago!"

I was speechless.

"Anyway, go confess you love to Judai!"

"No.." I plainly stated.

"Why not? I know you love Judai!"

"I'm.. afraid.."

"What?! Of rejection?! You'd rather have a question linger in your mind for an eternity rather having rejection?!"

"No.. but"—

"Then go confess to him!"

I stood there shocked for a moment, before I settled down and regained my composure. "Thanks Asuka, I'll go do that now."

"No problem Johan."

I walked over to the room where I last saw Judai only to find him missing. I looked over to Jun, Sho, and Kenzan who were once again engrossed with their handhelds.

"Hey guys, where'd Judai go?"

"He went outside with some other guy." they all said in unison.

"What? Who?"

"Dunno, he had a hood over his head."

I looked at them in disbelief. They didn't seem to care about Judai at all! Not even wondering why Judai was with a stranger. I shook my head in frustration and ran outside.

I ran around looking for Judai. _'Where could he be?'_

I walked around the dorm and started calling out, "Judai!, Judai! Where are you?!"

I continued walking around the dorm. I headed towards a corner and saw a shadow.

As I walked around the corner I said "Hey Ju"-

I couldn't finish my sentence. I stared in horror.

There was Judai pinned to the wall or the back of the dorm. The person pinning him down was Edo wearing a cloak. He had Judai's lips locked with his own; one hand was against the wall near Judai's head. His other hand reached up Judai's shirt, feeling up his chest.

Something stabbed me in the heart. The excruciating pain filled my body. I desperately started grasping at my chest, only to find that there wasn't a knife or anything there.

What disturbed me more was what I heard next.

Judai moaned not in disgust, but actually pleasure.

"Edo.. stop.." he panted.

"Not a chance Judai-chan, you know you like it." Edo replied wickedly.

"Unnnnnnn!" Judai moaned loudly again.

I couldn't take it anymore, I turned around and ran. All I could think about was getting away from there. I didn't turn to stop when I thought I heard someone call my name. All I wanted to do was run back to my dorm. I can't cry in public. I ran and ran. I ran through the shortcut in the forest. I never took this shortcut because of all the thorns and bushes in the way. I ran and ran; I didn't have time to think. I didn't care I was being cut along the way. The pain numbed my feelings. Even though I couldn't think things clearly I still couldn't forget one thing.

'_Judai… how could you?!'_

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Edo smirked as he saw the bluenette run.

"JOHAN!!!!" I cried out pleadingly with all my strength. "JOHAN!!!!"

"EDO! YOU BASTARD! WHY DID YOU DO THAT IN FRONT OF JOHAN!

Edo smirked as he started purring playfully, "I told you earlier, nothing will get in my way. You will be mine and nothing can stop me. Especially Anderson.

I stared at Edo, hatred filled my eyes, but I had no time to deal with him. I ran and followed Johan's trail before I cried out again. "JOHAN!!!!"

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I entered my room and slammed the door shut behind me. I couldn't think clearly. This was probably my worst nightmare. I jumped onto my bed and buried my head in my pillow. I screamed as hard as I could. Tears poured out of my eyes. I could no longer hold back the flood. I started screaming loudly with the same rhythm with me slamming my head into the wall.

"WHY! WHY! WHY! WHY DIDN'T I CONFESS WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE?!"

I started calming down, "No… I can't think like this.. I'm being selfish. He might be happy with Edo. If I truly love him, then I want what's best for him. I can't call him mine. He wasn't mine to begin with. But why can't I forget about him!"

I started screaming again.

"WHY CAN'T I FORGET?! WHY!." I sobbed with my eyes shut, I turned my head to see the gold embroidered, black book. "I DON'T NEED THIS ANYMORE! THIS CAN'T HELP ME FORGET!"

I grabbed the book and hurled it across the room as it hit the wall and fell into the trashcan.

I continued screaming. "WHY CAN'T I FORGET?! I WANT TO FORGET! THIS PAIN IN MY HEART! MAKE IT GO AWAY! LET ME FORGET! DEAR MERCIFUL GOD TAKE THIS PAIN AWAY FROM ME, WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE SUCH PAIN!"

I screamed for about the next 2 hours as I finally settled down on my bed. "Why can't I forget… why?"

I fell asleep, with tear stained eyes. Still thinking, why can't I forget, forget my love, Yuki Judai…

-------

Johan fell asleep. A deep sleep. A grief filled sleep. A sleep everyone in the world fears.

His sleep was so deep, he didn't notice a familiar brunette walking into the room. He spoke.

"You probably hear me say this too much.. but.. Gomen"

The figure walked over and cupped Johan's cheeck with his right hand.

It whispered softly , "Sayonara.. Johan.."

It bent down as if to place a chaste kiss before leaving, but just when their lips were about to touch, he pulled away, tears rolling down his cheeks. He stared at the angelic figure below him. The moonlight shown through the window and shined upon him, illuminating all his features.

He walked away slowly and was about to close the door, when a glint caught his eye. He looked at the trash can next to the door. The figure reached in and pulled out a strange object. It was a peculiar black book, embroidered with gold…

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AHAHAHA! CLIFFY!!! FEAR ME!!! Anyway I finished this freakin chapter! Word count… 5000 words!? HOLY SHIT! That's almost as much as everything I typed before!

Anyway see what your reviews do for me? U guys got a freakin 4 and a half chapters! Anyway not gonna update until mebbe next weekend. I need to take a break from this story. R&R PLZ!


	6. The Day Has Come

**Was gonna wait awhile until I got a decent amount of reviews, but I decided to be nice and not to keep other ppl waiting. I guess either the last part of the chapter was so good that ppl became emo, reading it and started cutting themselves sending them to the emergency room, or everyone is on vacation. I hope it's the 2****nd**** one. Anyway ty for the 3 ppl who have reviewed, Johan's Angel, heavenstar72, and Anime-Queen-2011. Enjoy the Chappie! Really angsty throughout the chapter. Well… kind of…**

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**Chapter 6- The Day Has Come**

It was dark. Everything was dark. I couldn't see anything. Wait, I see something. I see a person. Is that, Judai?

I ran towards the figure. My footsteps echoed throughout the dark void. "JUDAI!" I screamed.

The figure turned around to reveal a teenage boy, with unruly brown hair. It was Judai.

"Judai! Thank god you're alright." I wrapped my arms around my smaller friend as tears of happiness rolled down my cheeks. In content I closed my eyes and buried my face in his hair. "I'll never leave your side again, Judai." I whispered softly.

Suddenly, my eyes widened. A sharp pain struck my chest. I backed away slowly, quickly raising my hand to my chest. I felt a knife. I glanced down at my hand. Blood, lots of blood. I quickly raised my head to meet Judai's gaze. It wasn't his usual warm brown eyes, but a cold icy stare. His right hand, bathed in the crimson liquid. I sank to my knees.

"Why Judai!, why?!" I cried out desperately. I reached one hand towards him while the other gripped my chest. I pulled out the knife in one swift motion.

"AHHHH!" I shrieked in pain.

I collapsed from the pain, lying in the pool of blood.

I still continue reaching towards Judai with 1 arm. My voice grew weaker, my whole body became fatigued.

"Why… why.. Judai… I— I loved you…."

I hear the sound of clapping approaching. I faced the sound and saw another figure come out of the darkness.

"Good job, Judai-chan. I told you Anderson, I told you not to bother to try. Judai is mine."

"EDO!" I growled loudly. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO JUDAI?!"

Edo casually walked over next to Judai. "Moi? I did nothing. Judai is merely mine, and does whatever I say. Isn't that right, Judai-chan?"

Judai just stood still as Edo wrapped an arm around his waist and licked Judai's neck up the length to his cheek. His other arm went up Judai's shirt feeling his chest.

"No Judai.. Judai…" my vision started to fade as I screamed one last time. "JUDAI!!!"

I sat up abruptly, eyes wide, pupils small. Sweat covered every inch of my body. I looked around. I was in my dorm. I felt a small stinging pain in my chest. I raised a hand to it, but found no knife.

'_It was a dream… just a dream… But if it was a dream, why do I still feel pained in my heart…'_

I stared into space in though when all of sudden, someone knocked on the door.

'_Great, my day is progressing nicely already. I remember how my crush has made out with someone else, I had a nightmare which involved me dying, and now I hafta get out of bed early in the morning because some jackass starts knocking on the door!'_

I threw the covers off and trudged towards the door. As I turned the knob and pulled, I saw that it was Jim.

"Hello mate."

"Oh, hey Jim" I replied sleepily as I rubbed an eye.

"Whoa mate, have a rough night?" Jim asked with concern in his voice.

"Yea, nothing serious though." I said, trying to make my voice sound as reassuring as possible.

"Well if you say so… Anyway hurry up and get ready, we're leaving in about 30min."

And with that Jim left.

'_That's right... I'm leaving Duel Academy today. Today I leave behind my memories, and him.'_

I felt there was no point on dwelling with the past. I grabbed a towel and headed towards the shower. While undressing, I turned on the water. I enter the shower depressed. When my foot stepped in, it slipped. I quickly grabbed onto the first thing I saw, the towel handle in the shower. It was rusted and sharp and cut a deep gash in my hand. I knelt down in the shower, holding my wrist in pain. I gazed at the blood, overflowing.

_The scene flashes. It's dark again, the pain in his chest is back. His hand, drenched with his blood, the knife in his chest. _

I gasp loudly as I snap out of it. "Why Judai… why…" I mutter weakly under my breath. "WHY!" I screamed suddenly at the top of my lungs as I pounded my fist into the tile covered wall. My knuckles bled, but I could care less. The one thing in my life that I truly wanted was taken from me.

10min later, I came out of the shower, dry and dressed. I grabbed my luggage picked it up, or attempted to. I nearly fell over from the weight of it all.

'_Damn… I didn't know I brought so much stuff...'_

I finally mustered enough strength to lift it and start off out the door and towards the port.

"I hope I don't see Judai" I said to myself.

'_Psh, what a lie. I wanted to see Judai. I wanted to confess my feelings even if he is taken. This is my last chance before I leave. But, I don't want to see his pained face. This is my last image of him, I can't leave him shocked and depressed..."_

I was so deep in thought; I didn't notice I was already at the port.

"HEY JOHAN!!!!" Sho and Kenzan screamed in unison.

"Hi guys" I said meekly while waving to them slowly. "Well I guess this is it; I guess I better board the ship now."

"Wait Johan!" cried Sho. "Try to wait until Aniki gets here! I'm sure he'll be here any second. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't get a chance to say bye!"

"That is strange... Where is Judai?" spoke up Asuka as she walked up to us.

"Tch- lazy ass is probably off sleeping somewhere." said Jun harshly.

"I haven't seen him" replied Sho.

""Me neither-don, I don't think he came back to the dorm."

This caught me off guard. "What?! He didn't come back to the dorm?! I have to go look for him!" I dropped my bags as they landed with a surprisingly loud thud and started turning around when someone grabbed my shirt.

"Let me go!" I screamed as I turned around to see who it was. It was O'Brien .

"Johan, enough. We don't have time to look for Judai."

"Yea it's okay Johan" said Sho, we'll look for Aniki.

I calmed down and felt somewhat depressed. "Say bye to Judai for me when you guys find him."

"No problem" said Sho and Kenzan.

I smiled at them while turning to Asuka. "Hey Asuka, can I speak with you in private for a moment?"

"Sure Johan."

We walked towards some trees before we stopped and faced each other.

"So what's up Johan?" Asuka said cheerfully.

I averted my gaze before replying. "Asuka, when I leave, please tell Judai that I love him…"

"What? I thought I told you to do that yesterday!" She seemed angry and frustrated at me.

"I know, I'm sorry. It's not like I didn't try. I just saw— I mean I couldn't find him."

"Well too bad I'm not telling him." She said simply before turning around.

"What?! Why not?!" I said in shock.

"Because he needs to hear it from you. So tell him when you get back."

"I never said I was coming back though…"

"I didn't need you to tell me. I know you will come back." She said with confidence before walking back to the group.

I smirked at her statement "Thanks, Asuka" I whispered as I picked myself up and started walking back. I picked up my bags before facing the group one more time.

"Well I guess this is where we part. So long, Jun, Asuka, Sho, Kenzan."

"See you later Johan" they replied in unison while waving good-bye."

I walked towards the ship slowly, still regretting not being able to see Judai's smiling face as I left. I just wanted to see him one more time. But I guess fate kept us apart.

I walked up the ramp slowly, but took the time to turn back one last time, hoping I would see Judai waving at me. Alas, he was nowhere to be seen. A tear rolled down my cheek as I whispered under my breath, "Sayonara, Judai, my love…"

'_My last chance is gone now. Until next time then, Judai.'_

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**Ahahahaha, don't worry, it's not over yet. I hate sad endings. This time I have the next chapter done. The faster I get 5 reviews for this chapter. The faster you guys will get to read the next 1. R&R plz xD**


	7. I Don't Need Memories of the Past

**Daaaaam I should use that comment to get reviews all the time. I got 5 reviews within the hour! Anyway u guys deserve the next Chappie then!**

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**Chapter 7- I Don't Need Memories of the Past**

I boarded the ship and looked around. I felt nothing the whole time. I went under emergency drills and processing over and over again. My mind drew a blank as I was asked the same questions about myself. I mindlessly asked where my room was.

"Johan Anderson right? You're on the 3rd deck, room 215 the suite, first class."

"Thanks…."

I traveled down the elevator then walked hundreds of feet around the ship. By now I was beyond tired, ready to just take a shower and go to bed. I jammed the card into the door. When the light turned green I turned the handle and threw my bags in. It was a nice room, big, really big. It had some tables with flowers and lamps on them, A plasma screen mounted on the wall, and even a desk with a computer on it with Internet. To the right I saw a large fridge. I opened it and found it stocked with Coke, pepsi, Sunkist, and los of other sodas. I grabbed a coke and popped the top. I dropped back onto a a chair and started drinking it.

'_This room is big… A little too big… I wish I had someone to share it with. It's lonely in here.'_

I sighed as I got up. "Well, I guess I should take a shower and go to bed."

I unzipped a bag, pulled out a towel, and headed for the showers.

I turned the water on. As I walked in the water, all I thought of were images of Judai. When he had crumbs on his mouth from lunch, when he pleaded with me with puppy dog eyes, when he was naked in the bath (yes Johan is perverted when it comes to Judai), when he was sleeping against my chest, afraid of the storm, when he was in that cat costume during truth or dare, and finally, his care-free smiling face, that warmed every part of my body every time I saw it.

"I'm going to miss you… Judai…" I whispered softly.

I slowly turned off the water and dried myself off. I quickly blow dried my hair and brushed my teeth. Dressing up in my PJ's I turned off the bathroom light and walked over to my bed. I slipped in and before settling in, turned off the lantern on the night stand. The bed was surprisingly warm, like someone was sleeping here before. It was a huge king sized one.

"Good night Johan" Said Judai lazily as he turned in bed.

I yawned and stretched my arms before settling down. "Good night, Judai-chan."

"Hey Johan"

"Yea?"

"Scoot over a bit I don't have much room."

"Ok Judai."

I scooted over a bit and Judai moved closer.

'_So that's why the bed was so warm. Judai was in it. Wait… Judai, in bed with me?'_

I stayed silent in thought for a moment.

"WHAT THE HELL!"

"Ah! Johan… Don't be so noisy, I'm trying to sleep." Replied Judai as he rubs his eyes.

"JUDAI?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE! ON THE SHIP!"

"Huh? Oh, I didn't want you to leave me, so I got on."

(still shocked) "WHAT?! HOW?!"

"Oh.. I went into your room last night and hid in one of your luggage bags. You see, after we had our little talk outside the dorm after truth or dare. I saw a cartoon! The little mouse wasn't allowed on the ship, so he went into someone's bag and he got on! I wouldn't recommend doing that much though, my back is still sore. Oh yea that reminds me."

Judai lifted his arm in the air and slapped me across the face.

"Ow!!! What's that for!"

"For dropping me 2 times while I was still in the bag!"

"I didn't know you were inside!"

"And who's fault is that?!"

"What?! It's obviously your fault!"

Judai groaned and raised his hand to his forehead like he was having a headache. "Johan, can't we talk about this in the morning?"

"You're the one who hit me!"

My face turned from shocked to serious again. I began in a stern tone. "Judai, have you learned nothing from our talk last night?!"

Judai cocked his head to the side. "What? Johan-kun isn't happy to see me?"

"It's not about that! I told you to stay at Duel Academy! You have family in Japan!"

"Yea I thought about that. But then I realized… I have no family! So it's really a win-lose situation. So I came onboard with you. You're the closest thing to family I have."

'_What?! Someone like Judai doesn't have family?!'_

"Then, you have no idea who was your mother?"

"Nope, no dad either. I have foster parents in America. They were nice and sent me off to dueling school in Japan." (my story, my plot, my rules. So meh XP)

"Wow Judai, I... never knew that"

"Meh, it's ok"

"What about the rest of the gang?"

"They'll understand."

Judai's head lowered a bit to hide his face. "Anyway Johan, why aren't you asking me what happened last night?"

"What?" I replied acting dumb. I wasn't stupid. I saw everything that happened. I thought it would be best for Judai if we didn't talk about it, though I was dying to know.

Judai's voice became serious now. "Johan, stop acting stupid. I saw you run away after you saw what Edo did."

"Well, it's none of my business; I don't want to pry into your personal love life." I said simply. _'Judai… why did you kiss him?'_

"Lies."

"I am not lying!"

"You say it's none of your business but you are dying to know why Edo did that to me and why it seemed like I enjoyed it."

"Seemed? You did enjoy it! You were moaning with pleasure!"

"I thought you didn't want to pry" said Judai coldly.

"I don't it's none of my business."

"But you just argued with me!"

"That doesn't matter! Why do you care about how I feel anyway?!" I yelled as I turned around.

"Because… I love you… Johan Anderson" Judai mumbled meekly. "I didn't kiss him anyway, he forced himself on me."

My eyes widened in disbelief, I already went deaf after hearing the first part. I quickly turned to look at Judai. "What? Y—you really love me?"

Judai turned away before he began again slowly. "Of course Johan, I loved you ever since the first time I met you. When I shook your hand, I felt a warm feeling wash over me, a feeling I've never felt before ever. I was confused and scared. One day Asuka found me in a corner trying to understand my feelings. She told me it was love. I couldn't believe it, you were a guy as well as my best friend. I waited to see if it really was love."

Judai turns around and faces me with a small smile, "And it was. Every time in my time of need, I see you there beside me supporting me. Every time I brush up against you or make contact with you, I blush a deep red. And it's been like that ever since, I've always wanted to be by your side no matter what, I don't know how I lived without you before you came to Duel Academy. Johan, you complete me." Judai ended there, his beautiful honey-brown eyes staring deeply into mine.

Tears started swelling in my eyes, as I smiled and embraced Judai. I dug my face into his brown hair and replied. "Judai, I love you too…"

"Yeah Johan I know…"

That ruined the moment. I opened my eyes in confusion. I broke the embrace and saw a confused Judai.

"Wait, you know? How do you know how I feel?

My eyes widened in embarrassment, as I saw in his hands a familiar black book.

"Wh—Where did you get that?" I whispered transfixed upon the book.

"I found it, in your trash."

"Did you.. read any of it?" I asked softly.

"Yes." Judai replied with a mischievous grin on his face.

"Lemme read a quote from the diary. Oh… the part where we took a bath. That was my favorite." Judai said while giggling.

"J-Judai! Don't read it aloud! Give it back!" I reached for it but Judai jumped out of bed and laughed."

Judai flipped the pages and began reading out loud. "He was a God come down from heaven to bless me with his presence. His small slender arms, though with some build, swayed gracefully by his sides."

I started blushing madly as I got out of bed and started chasing Judai around the room. "Judai! Give it back and stop reading it!!!"

Judai started running around while continuing, "His chest, tanned and broad. He had a nice slender waist with toned abs."

"J-Judai!!!! Stop it!!!"

Judai, still running, giggled as he read the next part. "But even though I explained my thoughts, I don't know about my physical reaction. Luckily the steamy, bubbling water hid my arousal… Ewwwww Johan's a pervert!"

Johan's face turned into a deeper shade of beet red. "Judai! Stop reading my diary and give it back!"

Judai stopped running and started to turn around.

'_Yes here's my chance to get it back!!!'_

Suddenly Judai looked at Johan with puppy-dog eyes. "Please Johan, please let me read your diary."

Johan stopped in his tracks, his eye twitching from the way Judai was looking up at him. Johan sighed before continuing. "Alright Judai-chan, I can't refuse anything when I look into your beautiful brown eyes." (seem familiar? xD)

"Oh, Johan. You're… you're teasing me…" Judai stammered as he looks away.

Johan grasps Judai's hands between his They gaze into each other's eyes. Lost in each other. Gazing into the depths of each other's soul.

"Judai, I would never tease you about how beautiful you look, I think about you everyday. I can't stop thinking about you, even if I wanted to."

"Oh.. Johan… No this can't be real. Is, is this a dream?"

Johan laughs lightly before continuing. "If this was a dream, I'd never want to wake up. I love you Judai-chan, I always have."

"Johan, I love you too, kiss me…"

"Gladly."

Johan pushed Judai back onto the king sized bed as he pounces on him.

Johan stared at the anticipating figure below him. He closed his eyes and started to lean in. Judai closed his eyes and waited for the kiss to come. Eventually Johan closed the gap as he placed his lips upon Judai's soft ones. He poked his tongue at Judai's lips, asking for entrance. Judai gladly granted permission as they explored each other's mouth, savoring the taste of each other. Judai wrapped his arms around Johan's neck, pulling him down to deepen the kiss. They started a tongue war, battling for dominance of the other's mouth. Johan won, so he continued exploring his new lover's mouth. Reluctantly, they broke away, panting heavily as they stared into each other's eyes.

"That was great…" panted Judai heavily.

"Yea it was" Johan said.

Judai giggled before saying a little too loudly, "Yay! My dream came true!"

Johan sighed and smiled, "Judai, you're too cute for words."

Judai pouted then smiled at Johan, "Well you're too _hot _for words."

Johan smiled again as he pulled Judai in for another hot, steamy, kiss.

_He got another chance, and this time, he took it._

The next morning, Judai woke up, his vision was blurry and he waited until it focused. When it did, he found himself alone in bed.

"Johan? Where are you Johan?" he said worriedly.

"I'm in the bathroom Judai-chan" Johan replied.

Johan then walked out, went up to Judai, and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek. "Come on Judai, get dressed, we're going to be late for breakfast."

"Hai, Johan-kun." Replied Judai lazily as he started to get dressed.

They walked out together onto the deck and were ready to enter the restaurant when Johan spoke. "Wait Judai, lemme do something really fast."

Johan starts walking over to the edge of the ship and Judai follows. Johan took a black book out of his pocket.

Judai cocked his head in confusion. "Johan, What are you doing with your diary?"

"This" he said simply while smiling. Johan raise his arm and tossed the book overboard.

"What?! Johan!!! Why'd you do that!" Judai said shocked as he was leaning over the edge of the ship, hoping by some miracle he could grab it.

"It's ok Judai." Johan started surprisingly calm. "I started writing that diary because I thought we were going to be separated so I wanted to record some of my memories. But I don't need memories of the past anymore. With you by my side, I can create new ones."

"But I didn't finish reading it…" Judai whined.

Johan laughed, "Judai, just shutup and kiss me."

Judai pouted and pondered for a moment. "Okay" he said cheerfully with a smile.

They leaned in as their lips locked together. Their tongues searching each other's mouth. Johan had his arms around Judai's waist and Judai had his arms in Johan's hair.

They kissed like that as the black leather book, embroidered with gold, sank into the depths of the never-ending sea.

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**Ahahaha at last it's finished! There will be a sequel that shows what happens with Judai and Johan's life together in Europe. But I want 8 reviews and heavenstar72 needs to update her story -.- I'm still waiting on that! Ty all for reading my first fanfic.**


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